Change the Conversation - Kook

I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about the lessons that I've learned from surfing. I received incredible support here on this blog and elsewhere. However, the post was also shared by a kind reader on a local surfing forum where it wasn't so well received by those who consider themselves "hard core" surfers. After all, I'm a kook - a new surfer.

But, kook is a pejorative term. It's is often used to describe new surfers who are clueless and have no regard or respect for surfing etiquette, thereby endangering themselves and/or others out in the water. In their eyes, I was an overexcited kook who didn't have the right to be out in the water.

Source: John Robison. Surfing Illustrated: A Visual Guide to Wave Riding

At first, as I read through their responses, I was hurt. I felt attacked. I didn't feel safe in my blogging space anymore. But as I read some more, I realized something. They were attacking the image of a kook that they held in their mind and everything that label encompasses - arrogant, privileged, inexperienced, disrespectful, dumb. But that wasn't me or my story. I'm more than that label.

I am a new surfer who is trying to learn to surf the right way by learning technique and water skills; understanding the ocean, waves and currents; and learning and respecting my own limitations.

I am a new surfer who is so well aware of the unique history and culture that surrounds the sport - a mostly male-dominated culture where women often aren't treated on an equal level.

I'm a new surfer who knows that you have to earn your place in the line-up as well as respect others out in the water.

I am a new surfer who has a long way to go but I am committed to putting in the time to improve and to learn both in and out of the water.

I am also a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend and athlete. I'm a runner, swimmer, yogi, spinner, writer, artist, and the tickle police for my kids.

When I was younger, I hated being a newbie whether it was a new school or sport or instrument. There is truth to the myth of the Tiger Mom and the notion that nothing's fun until you're good at it. I wanted to excel at everything that I did, often barreling my way through and pretending that I didn't need help.

Now, I've learned to embrace my newbie-ness whether in surfing or blogging or any other new experience that crosses my path. I'm not afraid of it anymore - not afraid to ask questions, admit that I'm wrong and just learn. To me, being new isn't about fear or failure. It's about excitement and opportunity. After all, we ALL started off new at some point. 

Labels are everywhere. They help our brains organize and sort information. For a type-A person like me, that's really helpful. We all have labels that we attach to ourselves and others. But labels are not what solely defines us. So let's change the conversation and stop judging based on labels. The conversation NEEDS to be changed.

What are your labels and who are you beyond that? How do you handle being a "newbie"? 

{Linking up with Just.Be.Enough to change the conversation}

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