Wednesday Wow Factor!

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Week 80
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight: 220
Current weight: 203
Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Last week's dream focus: Continue making good progress and good choices; log food daily in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks; begin easing into fitness - being careful not to do too much too fast; have patience while getting back into the routine of healthy living. 

What went well: I've increased the good foods I've consumed and have limited the "less healthy" options!  I feel so much better about myself when I make those decisions, not to mention feeling better in general.  I can't stress how accountable you are when you log everything you consume.  Although I wish I didn't have to do this every time I eat, it's what I need to do now, until eating right is second nature to me.  I truly believe that one day I won't have to do this!

OH!  And I've noticed my pants and shorts aren't fitting as tightly and my face doesn't look as puffy lately.  HOLLA!  ...a great big milestone for this girl!

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Challenges:  We've continued down the "busy" path and it feels like it's been "go, go, go"!  I think it should slow down next week!  All this hectic, non-stop stuff has led me to sleep deprivation, which is never good for me.  I need a certain amount of sleep or I get short-tempered and grouchy.  Not good.

In addition to feeling like Mrs. Grouchy Pants today, we've been working to refinance our home mortgage.  It started out fairly easy, but when the lender requested additional paperwork from my past, I began to dig up bones.  And enter Satan's dirty little secret attacks; inferiority and insecurity... which accompanies anger and heartache.  I uncovered things I forgot about my divorce... like completely blocked out.  I noticed things on paper that I didn't notice before.  And it hurt.  And it made me really upset.  And, for a few minutes I felt like the person I was when I went through it.  My stomach was sick, my heart raced, and I started to fight back tears.  The divorce was final 9 years ago, so to have reacted like it was only yesterday really caught me off guard.

Looking over these papers, it became very clear to me why my emotional eating got so out of control.  I instantly saw the damaged person I was and how I used food to "make everything better".  

But it never did.

And it never will.

God showed me how different my life is now.  The picture of how far I've come, how much progress I've made, how much stronger and more mature I am now, is one I'd like to frame!  Everything about my day started getting better after some prayer, volunteering at the Second Chance Pet Adoption Center of Kansas City, and finding sweet cards from my husband that happened to reside in the same box as my divorce papers.  God is so good to have shown me grace and restored my life!

I came across this blog post from Jon Acuff.  It was the reminder I needed to help me keep my focus where it needs to be... my present and my dreams for the future!  Jon put it this way...

Here's the simple truth about your past: 
Your past will either conform you or inform you.
It will shape you and twist and force you into decisions you don't want to make.
Or it will teach you and help you and inform you.
The choice is yours.  

This week's dream focus: Leave the past where it belongs... behind me.  Focus on my blessings in the present and move towards my dreams for the future; continue making good progress and good choices; log food daily in the LoseIt app; rely on God to help me shut Satan down when he attacks (because he ain't stoppin' soon); begin easing into fitness - being careful not to do too much too fast; have patience while getting back into the routine of healthy living; AND GET SOME REST! 

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